1. How to scare your wife by Ellen DeGeneres

    winchestersarrow:

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    (via lifeatlaaaast)

    5 months ago  /  452,696 notes  /  Source: winchestersarrow

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    5 months ago  /  204,795 notes  /  Source: man-of-prose

  3. haemat:

    things to say to bugs when science finally unlocks the secrets of human-bug communication:

    1. im not hurting you i am taking you to a safe place
    2. do you eat weird crumbs cause i found some im willing to share
    3. you can bite me if you want but id rather be no-bite friends
    4. i like your big colorful eyes, very stylish
    5. please dont crawl into my sleeves
    6. (sings a duet with a cricket)

    (via pleatedjeans)

    8 months ago  /  118,675 notes  /  Source: bwmegatron

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    8 months ago  /  73,454 notes  /  Source: dustandgasoline

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    9 months ago  /  268,669 notes  /  Source: bonny-notion

  6. (via ruinedchildhood)

    9 months ago  /  34,283 notes  /  Source: twitterillustrated

  7. pleatedjeans:

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    9 months ago  /  13,631 notes  /  Source: pleatedjeans


  8. (via ruinedchildhood)

    9 months ago  /  234,180 notes  /  Source: montoya

  9. mesmerized

    mesmerized

    10 months ago  /  265,610 notes  /  Source: ruinedchildhood

  10. (via pleatedjeans)

    10 months ago  /  83,326 notes  /  Source: squireseses